Back around 1998, when I wrote the letter to physicist David Bohm in the UK, as mentioned before, I did not know he was already deceased. The topic of the letter was something I call “the sound phenomenon.” This refers to statements I hear that may be jumbled from reality. This poor hearing may date back to loss of hearing and perhaps brain damage associated with strong prescription medication use in the 1980s. Or it may be a form of ecological or illogical communication.
In any case as an example, someone may utter a statement like “I am going to the restroom.” What I may hear is “There is no restroom….” So either due to damage in my hearing capabilities or due to some form of “hearing voices,” I hear the statement that has been uttered or better said perceived in a non-logical light. I call this event “the sound phenomenon” and also attribute it to ecological versus logical thought.
The letter to David Bohm in 1998 asked for the development of a double-blind study in which “the sound phenomenon” would be studied. In the letter, I also described a dream I had involving Einstein in which he and I were arguing about a topic (potentially time) and that I felt very self-assured in my opinion and in challenging him. I also talked in the letter to David Bohm about my thoughts about linear time versus circular time. In my view at the time, linear time is the time of chronological events. Circular time is the time of dreams and of the subconscious. Somehow this differentiation is associated with matter and anti-matter.
Understanding “the sound phenomenon” is something that continues to occupy my thoughts some 20 years later after writing the letter to David Bohm. I continue to try to listen to what is said but not give it too much credence in linear time if it does not “make sense.” I tend to think of utterances in “the sound phenomenon” as similar to a Freudian slip where the world of circular time may be butting into the world of linear time. Yet, I have no real explanation as of yet for whether this is an accurate assessment of “the sound phenomenon.”
I find that “the sound phenomenon” occurs in any number of places – out in public, in the home, at church, watching TV – which logically might indicate that these occurrences are due to hearing failures on my part due to inadvertently or potentially “over-using” anti-psychotic medications in my twenties. I really do not know the answer and have accepted to date that I really don’t know the explanation for these events. What I have added to my behavior is asking the person who said what I perceive of as an illogical statement to repeat him or herself. Usually that involves clearing up the hearing “mistake” and a repeat of a more logical statement. I find that asking the person talking to repeat him or herself makes me realize that this is either a hearing fault on my part or some sort of temporal miscommunication like a Freudian slip.
4 thoughts on “My Sojourn through Bipolar Illness – the Sound Phenomenon”
Auditory processing deficits have been studied in schizophrenia and, to a lesser degree, bipolar disorder. Here’s a link to the abstract for one of the studies I found: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26396062
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much for this! After all my years of therapy and psyche work, this is the first I have heard of auditory processing deficits for bipolar disorder. I will keep asking a clarifying question if I feel my perception is “off.”
Wow, how interesting. Do you recognize any kind of pattern in hearing this, or patterns?
I was diagnosed with bipolar in 1985. Back then the use of Haldol and Melloril were preferred. My breakthroughs were so bad at that stage that I think there might have been some brain damage / hearing loss in the process due to the meds. Another blogger has opened my eyes to “auditory processing deficit” which may also play a part. I really don’t see any overt pattern to these auditory issues – they seem to occur whether or not I am stressed, whether or not I am with family or in a larger setting, whether or not I am doing volunteer work or other work or not. The only pattern I might see is that the “hearing deficits” may be exagerated when I am part of a non-cohesive group of people with different views. In other words, the more difference among the people gathered together, the more room for incohesive communications.