Tag: death

When Depression Creeps in Where Does Anxiety Go?

Soon after becoming an empty nester I have begun to experience some feelings of depression. This is understood as I have bipolar illness. But the depression phases of my bipolar history are fewer and less extreme than the mania phases. Since 2008 while prescribed clozapine, I have been experiencing mixed states that manifest themselves in acute anxiety.

In addition to just becoming an empty nester, there have been two recent deaths (in the past two weeks or so) in my social/family circles (both expected) and my Psyche doctor is experiencing severe back issues and lack of feeling in his feet.

So my question today is where does that long-standing anxiety go when feelings of depression are accepted as part of life’s challenges and puzzles? Is the depression the root cause of the anxiety? Have I been experiencing loads of anxiety because I have not been able to process sadness, pain, separation and depression?

I don’t have the answers to these questions right now. But it seems to me if I am going to come out of this series of mixed states, it is important to acknowledge the depression and allow it to pass. Perhaps then the anxiety will be less so. Any thoughts?

Anniversaries

My Dad died in late May of 1989 of prostate cancer. He was 54. Each year at the time of his death, I feel a deep sense of loss. It has been over 30 years but I still am impacted by his death each May. Thankfully after 30 years of acknowledging his loss I have transitioned to being thankful that I have passed this 54 year old mark. I am 56. Each day, I realize I am so many years past having died at 54. I realize that each day with my husband and daughter and all my family is a gift.