If you had a wish list for your mental health, what would it look like?

Here goes nothing….

  1. I wish for psyche meds to be 100% therapeutic 100% of the time.
  2. I wish for no side effects to meds like drowsiness or weight gain or Type II Diabetes.
  3. I wish to recover all those times when I was emotionally inaccessible to those closest to me due to my bipolar illness condition – this is mostly having to do with family and definitely has to do with my daughter.
  4. I wish for my bipolar condition not to be genetically an issue for my daughter.
  5. I wish to undo any harm / make amends for any harm I have brought to people because of or during my bipolar condition.
  6. I wish for the stigma associated with mental illness and addiction in society to magically disappear.
  7. I wish for the United States to have a healthcare plan that covers everybody at a reasonable cost including pre-existing conditions and including mental health and addiction benefits.
  8. I wish for the covid-19 virus to become a thing of the past as quickly as possible since it has so many emotional components that impact my mental health and the mental health of others.
  9. I wish for a covid-19 vaccine in the next 4 to 6 weeks or better yet now.
  10. I wish for a support team for anyone experiencing any sort of mental health or addiction diagnosis / symptoms and that that support team is always there for you.
  11. I wish for everyone with mental illness or addiction issues to never feel alone or never feel separate from the rest of the world.
  12. I wish the world to embrace and include all people no matter what their diagnosis, skin color, religion, etc.
  13. I wish I could return to the weight I was when I married or close to it…..

What would your wish list look like?

My Sojourn through Bipolar Illness – Coming up Last on the Funding List?

Has behavioral health always been the red-headed step-child in terms of funding levels for medical research and treatment?

If the statistics on mental health and addiction were more widely publicized, would we begin to see more clearly the widening funding gap between dollars to treat and cure mental illness versus research and treatment dollars dedicated toward heart disease, diabetes or cancer?  Currently, while mental health and behavioral health including the opiod epidemic and addiction pose tremendous challenges, the funds and expertise to tackle behavioral health and addiction just aren’t forthcoming at the same rate say for cancer research or funding.  What would happen if we as a society could place as much money and effort into mental health and addiction research and treatment as we do into cancer?  The projected impacts would likely be enormous.

  1. For one we would have adequate beds to treat people who need inpatient care for behavioral health or addiction. 
  2. For another, we would have adequate funding to develop psychotropic drugs and other interventions without such severe side effects as weight gain and Type II Diabetes onset and memory loss. 
  3. Additionally, we would be treating war veterans for mental health or behavioral impacts that often can go untreated or undiagnosed.
  4. Fourthly, we would have enough resources to fund a Cohort Model of support for those in a crisis or post-crisis state. 
  5. Fifthly, with more co-mingling of people with and without a behavioral health or addiction diagnosis we might be able to reduce stigma substantially.
  6. Finally and most importantly, by being proactive in our behavioral health and addiction programs in the United States, we may be able to develop awareness of early warning signs among people struggling with mental health and addiction before their symptoms become dire. 

It only follows that research for and treatment of mental illness and addiction is proportional to the level of medical challenge that is presented with these diagnoses.    

Stigma delay or not?

What strikes me as poignant is that the stigma/judgment/prejudice associated with mental illness is less visible or more delayed while the stigma/judgment/prejudice associated with darker skin seems more immediate.  To the average Joe, I look like a white housewife with no major troubles.  It is not until my mental health behavior gets in the way that someone might recognize me as having a behavioral health disorder and therefore might judge me as less than.  Behavioral health stigma is not generally associated with the way a person looks right off the bat unless that person shares that information upfront.  Whereas, with black and brown skinned people, it seems to me (from the outside looking in) there may be no such “delay” or “invisibility.” Someone with brown or black skin appears to be judged even before any behavioral questions good or bad emerge just because of how he or she looks on the spectrum of dark skin to light skin.

I hope I have not offended anyone of color with this comparison or that you think I think I can comprehend what it is like to be black or brown and to be judged by your appearance alone. 

I do not make the comparison to mental health above because I know how it feels to be judged by the color of my skin.  I don’t.  I have not experienced that.  But I would like someone of color to know that I do understand very well what it is like to be judged for something I was just born with. Perhaps I am not at liberty to make that comparison because I am not dark-skinned.  But I do think part of the solution in the Black Lives Matter movement is that we become unafraid to talk about our perceptions of race and racial stigma.

From here the conversation atrophies into the question: why make a comparison between skin color and a disability?  It is not a good comparison to make.  Yes, I agree a disability is not the same as skin color.  The whole “Black is Beautiful” movement underscores that. 

Then the conversation atrophies again, as a person with a disability, I am supposed to think of myself as a person WITH bipolar illness not that I AM bipolar.  I am not my illness.  I am supposed to not let that “label” define me.  Should we in turn say someone of African American heritage is a person with black skin rather that black?  Probably not.  For the behavioral health person, we typically don’t want labels to define us.  But for those with black and brown skin, the difference may be in embracing that difference and celebrating it along the lines of “Black (or Brown) is Beautiful” from the 1960s or 1970s.

Somewhere also in the midst of this conversation is the reality that up until the 1950s people with behavioral health problems were locked up in institutions largely for life.  Families sent them away to institutions where they were often forgotten and buried as a number in a mass cemetery for the mentally ill rather than by name.

So all in all, the parallel between having a disability and having darker skin has limits.  Perhaps this is just an ice breaker into a conversation of what can be and what we want to be different for those experiencing racial pain and stigma and those experiencing mental pain and stigma.

My three most popular posts

My three most popular posts so far since March 2020 have less to do with mental health and mental health symptoms than they do with talking about the general well-being of, well, everybody. Folks have liked a list of suggested things to do on a rainy day. Folks have liked the observation that amidst all this staying at home, the air and water quality may ironically be getting better. This is a small silver lining to the tremendous pain and suffering of covid-19. Folks have liked the idea that those of us with clinical depression or clinical anxiety may be able to help those experiencing these same issues situationally specific to covid-19 by simply telling our stories.

So what are we saying in all this? Is there a pattern? Do we want our sympathy and our empathy to extend to all folks who struggle not just those folks who have clinical diagnoses? Do we want posts that take us away from our own mental health predicaments and lead us to think about the greater good? Do we want posts that encourage us to do things that make us and those around us feel good simultaneously?

To me, what all this is saying (in my opinion) is that as people with mental health challenges (and diagnoses) we want to reach out to others and to our better selves more than we want to isolate. And for many of us, including me, that is simply a big deal – a very big deal.

Do you have posts with a lot more traffic than others? Do you see any patterns in what people “like” or like to “view”?

This has come up today

This has come up today in reviewing and updating comments from an earlier post of mine. It has been suggested that people who are accustomed to mental health and behavioral health issues may be able to empathize not just sympathize with people who are experiencing depression and anxiety for the first time due to covid-19.

Therefore mental health “veterans” like us may be able to help others in some small way. I am very curious to hear what those of us who are familiar with depression or anxiety might say to those who are first encountering symptoms due to covid-19 – likely situational depression and anxiety and uncertainty. These folks may not have clinical depression or clinical anxiety but that does not diminish the impact of what they are experiencing.

What might that look like if we were to reach out to those who are not familiar with or are new to depression or anxiety or uncertainty of all kinds?