Does Having a Puppy Help Keep You in the Present? (reposted from 12/21)

A week and a day ago, we adopted a puppy whose name is Parsnip. Our old dog had cancer and we had to put him down a little under a year ago . We have had rescue dogs for twenty years so getting a puppy is a new phenomenon in our household.

True confession: I have never been that great at living in the present. I have tended to dwell in the past – would’ve, could’ve, should’ve territory. Or in the future – what on the horizon for next week should I worry about – did I get a holiday card out? What should I worry about next month – will schools go virtual again due to Omicron? What should I worry about about six to eight months from now when my daughter goes to college?

Having a puppy in the house again challenges that past/future orientation. I find myself in the present whether I am comfortable there or not. I am preoccupied with puppy pees and puppy poops and with learning to reward positive puppy behavior and ignore negative puppy behavior. I am also trying to redirect behaviors like nipping with playing with a toy. It is a constant lesson in cognitive behavioral therapy that has taken me by surprise – emphasis on behavioral – for me and the pup. Somewhat LOL and somewhat really true about CBT.

All in all puppies are a joy but a load of work. For me for now, that work keeps me focused on the present day maybe even the present hour. I am extremely exhausted by it but it does seem to keep me in the now.

To all of you who have beloved pups and other beloved pets, do you find the act of taking care of that pet helps keep you in the present? And avoid the terrible would’ve, could’ve, should’ves or that projected anxiety into and onto the future’s horizon?

Living in the present moment – what can a puppy do for you??

A week and a day ago, we adopted a puppy whose name is Parsnip. Our old dog had cancer and we had to put him down a little under a year ago . We have had rescue dogs for twenty years so getting a puppy is a new phenomenon in our household.

True confession: I have never been that great at living in the present. I have tended to dwell in the past – would’ve, could’ve, should’ve territory. Or in the future – what on the horizon for next week should I worry about – did I get a holiday card out? What should I worry about next month – will schools go virtual again due to Omicron? What should I worry about about six to eight months from now when my daughter goes to college?

Having a puppy in the house again challenges that past/future orientation. I find myself in the present whether I am comfortable there or not. I am preoccupied with puppy pees and puppy poops and with learning to reward positive puppy behavior and ignore negative puppy behavior. I am also trying to redirect behaviors like nipping with playing with a toy. It is a constant lesson in cognitive behavioral therapy that has taken me by surprise – emphasis on behavioral – for me and the pup. Somewhat LOL and somewhat really true about CBT.

All in all puppies are a joy but a load of work. For me for now, that work keeps me focused on the present day maybe even the present hour. I am extremely exhausted by it but it does seem to keep me in the now.

To all of you who have beloved pups and other beloved pets, do you find the act of taking care of that pet helps keep you in the present? And avoid the terrible would’ve, could’ve, should’ves or that projected anxiety into and onto the future’s horizon?

Stigma through the lens of history

I have written before how stigma is more than half the battle against a mental health diagnosis. Today I would like to add that stigma against any kind of mental illness has its roots as far back at the 1800s and early 1900s or before. During the “good old days,” family members with mental illness were sent away quite literally to “lunatic asylums” to suffer and die or to be locked in the attic of their homes. Often times there was not even a diagnosis rendered. There is one such mental asylum in Milledgeville, GA.

For more on Milledgeville, go to http://www.peteearleyhttp://www.peteearley.com/2019/03/15/the-worlds-largest-mental-asylum-from-the-horrors-of-the-back-wards-to-todays-jails-and-prisons/.com/ Sorry if I cannot link up properly here but this is a great blog post by Pete Earley to review. Please copy and paste in your browser if the link is not activating and scroll down till you get to the post above. My apologies for my linkage problems.

In Milledgeville, people who died of mental illness and related complications were buried with no more than a number to their identity. These “unmarked graves” are testimony to the fact that people with mental illness were not people they were numbers in a cog of a wheel that was mostly about doing away with any showing of mental illness in the family through the institutionalization process. There are some powerful pictures at the post above as well.

Here we are in 2021. I would have to say we have made loads of progress in the last one hundred years or even since the 1960s. That being said, the bar for that achievement is really really really really very very low. During this past time, treatment consisted of lobotomies and older renditions of electroshock therapy. Thanks to science and to the pharmaceutical industry we have plenty of medicines to choose from which keep many of us from going into the “mental asylum” or mental health hospital for good. Now we have short hospital stays and more helpful meds. There are some side effects from meds typically including weight gain and that definitely needs to be expressed as an appeal and answered. Also, there are still some of us with persistent or treatment-resistant mental illness.

Why am I harping on and on about the past? I feel the stigma toward mental health is ingrained in our society much like racism. There is no quick fix to either. Both have been on-going for more like 200 to 300 years plus. Mental illness in the home is also something that often is not talked about as are the impacts of slavery on multiple generations of folks who likely came to the US against their free will. Both mental illness and the ongoing impacts of racism are systemic and not easily tackled. In many cases we have only been willing to talk about root cause and reparations for slavery in the very close past weeks and months. I see no such parallel effort to address root cause of mental illness although this stigma is just as prevalent.

I cannot pretend to know the experience of racism in the US. But I do have a clear view of how people can be treated as less than for the color of their skin or the processing speed and accuracy and chemical make-up of their brains. How nice would it be to address stigma against race and stigma against mental illness with the same vim and vigor.

I have a bad case of covid fatigue

I have a bad case of covid-19 fatigue and here’s what I am doing about it.

Anxiety is my go-to emotion. Anxiety in the midst of a pandemic is particularly tough. What I find I am doing with my anxiety is projecting out several weeks, several months and even several years into the future to see what life’s obstacles I need to attend to. This is completely the opposite of what I know I should be doing. I should be living in the moment one day at a time and not getting too far into the future or the past.

In order to help myself along with this goal and this need of getting back into the present, I am contemplating all the things I am worrying about, putting them on a list and then putting a time frame on them as to when they are due. Things that do not fall within the next 2 to 4 weeks or so go on the back burner to be addressed another day.

It is OK but not functional to have a list of all things to attend to until Doomsday. It is much nicer to have a shorter, more obtainable list of things I need to do in the next two weeks.

How do you keep focused on the present in this time of covid?